Change How You Feel

The 4 Patterns That Make Up Any Emotion and How You Feel

Have you ever been talking with a friend who is feeling some sort of way…kind of angry or upset…and your friend says something like: 

“I can’t help feeling this way, it’s just who I am.”

“I’ve always been this way and it’s not going to change.”

Maybe you feel this way about your own emotions, both the good ones and the not so good ones. It’s like your emotions happen to you- and you’re simply along for the ride.

Good news! Once you know the 4 simple patterns that make up any emotion, you will discover exactly how to change your emotions easily. 

Here are the 4 patterns - body, focus, meaning, and self-talk.

Pattern 1:  Body- How you use your body influences how you feel. This includes everything from your breathing, posture, gaze, muscle tension, and even how you have been caring for your body with hydration, sleep and nutrition.

Pattern 2: Focus- What you focus on you feel.

Pattern 3: Meaning -  Human beings are meaning makers. Whatever the situation, your brain gives it a meaning.

Pattern 4: Self-Talk - The words you use, either out loud or in your head, are impacting how you feel.

Here’s an example, if two people are next to each other, one is totally anxious and the other is completely relaxed, do you think you could tell which one is the anxious one? 

The anxious person might have shallow breathing, tight muscles, shoulders up, and be shaking or unable to keep still. 

What might this person be focused on? Problems, limits, what’s missing, all of the terrible things that might possibly happen in the future.  Focus intensifies feeling.

The anxious person’s self-talk pattern might sound like: “I am so worried, why does this happen to me all the time, what if things don’t work out, what if something bad happens, I can’t deal with this.”

And finally, meaning. The anxious person might make the situation mean “things are hopeless, this can’t change.”

Now that you know the makeup of any emotion, you can start to notice your different moods, and see the 4 patterns within them. By changing any 1 of the patterns, you will be able to change the way you feel. Change all 4 patterns in the moment, and you will change how you feel even faster.

With practice and consistency, you will get better and better at this. And you will notice that you feel more in control of how you feel, and less like you are at the mercy of your moods.

If you want to go deeper on this, we have a free resource for you called The Diamond where we guide you through a process that will allow you to experience these 4 patterns and leave you feeling amazing.

Please let us know some of the patterns that you most notice in your own moods and emotions.

In happiness,

Julie and Michele